AUTHOR: Noel Murphy

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THE previously classified JFK files will shed light on the murder of John F Kennedy, but it has now been bizarrely claimed JFK’s assassination was carried out by aliens from Planet X – also known as Nibiru.

Hello fellow students. It’s been too long. How are you all? I hope you are all looking after yourselves. Hey don’t worry, its the midterm, so all you have to do is head home to the mother and get a decent meal.

So this week I am concentrating on the art of being a crazy conspiracy theorist in the 21st century. Conspiracy freaks have been around since long before the Ancient Greeks. The first evidence of them was found in caves in Africa. Along with ancient cave art, evidence was uncovered of conspiracists denying the cave actually existed in the first place.

One of the most famous ones is the whole JFK thing. Did Oswald really shoot him?

Who was on the grassy knoll?

Was Lyndon Johnson involved?

Was it aliens from Planet X?

 

Yes.

 

Aliens.

 

THE previously classified JFK files will shed light on the murder of John F Kennedy, but it has now been bizarrely claimed JFK’s assassination was carried out by aliens from Planet X – also known as Nibiru.

So there’s this monument in Malta which conspiracy theorists reckon is a landing zone for alien ships funded by the US government and built in 1964, three weeks before Kennedy was shot. According to a YouTube video that been posted  by  “Jesus Christ said I am the truth, the way and the light.” (Yes. I kid you not) a secret signal was given by JFK’s driver to the spacecraft in Malta when Kennedy was in his presidential limo and the spaceship from came and zapped him with a high powered rifle from the book depository in Texas. Or some such shit.

 

Of course, there’s lots of evidence for the said theory. Men in white coats telling us how science has proven this and how we are all living with our eyes closed when it comes to this. The usual.

 

But what is interesting about this particular craziness is the fact that this landing pad was later made into a memorial for Kennedy so that those who planned the shooting could mock his death.

 

Late at night groups of illuminati, werewolves, and Republican congressmen gather at this memorial to celebrate the death of Kennedy.

 

I don’t know if it’s true. Actually I know it’s a crock of crap. But it’s a good one.

 

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